Sexual Orientation in the Early Years

Topic: Sex

Source: Robbins, ANTHRO (124,125)

Relation:

I was skeptical to blog about sex at first, but as I read about the Trobriand people, Ju/Wasi, and Chinese cultures, I found I was too interested in the topic to avoid it. I considered how demographics and social upbringing play a major part in orienting young adults to sex. It made me think about my upbringing, how I was introduced to the idea of sex and what I was led to think about it.

Description:  The first time I saw sexual content I wasn't more than 5 years old, thankfully it was on a TV, but my eyes were covered by mom before I could watch more than a few seconds of it. I had no idea what it was, but I knew that my mom didn't want me to see it. It became habit for me to turn away if breasts were shown in a movie; I'd even leave the room if a sex scene was shown for more than a few seconds. I can vividly remember the first time I actually looked; I was on the all-stars basketball team in seventh grade, and on our road trip back from a victory we decided to watch the hilarious movie "Old School" (The unrated version). So reacting to habit, when the KY-Jelly wrestling match took place in the movie, it wasn't odd to me that I looked away. Sure enough about half my team noticed, and they had been peer pressuring me all season to break away from my somewhat nerdy approaches to things. After being called a "fag" probably 50 times in a minute, we agreed that if I watched the scene we'd just continue the movie, so I watched, and if you've seen old school you'd know it was nothing terrific. I wasn't scared or excited; it felt as if nothing had changed, so why did my mom shield my eyes from the images when I was 5? My take is that she was helping me hold out longer than others, and be able to better control myself for the testosterone filled years ahead. The high school I went to was to put in the nicest way possible: very un-classy. Some kids were losing their virginity at 12, and if you got to be 16 with your "v-card" then you would be ridiculed. I doubt with early years like mine my mom wanted me growing up in a place like that.

Commentary/Analysis:  The importance of sex varies culture to culture, and I think the ease of restriction a society practices reflects the lack of importance sex is to that society. In Chinese society, a woman is to hold her virginity until marriage, and her life can change if she loses it. That requires quite a bit of devotion to the power of sex, more so than the Ju/Wasi, who believe it healthy to practice sexual activities when the cravings begin. A Ju/Wasi said "if a girl grows up not learning to enjoy sex, her mind doesn't develop normally." (Robbins 124) I figure based on other Ju/Wasi customs that men follow similar logic, and personally I've found my life is less problematic when I don't have any sexual relations. My experiences through high school taught me it's easy to get distracted, and that sexual relations lure focus away from more pressing matters.

In a way I envy Chinese women for their self-control, but even after marriage it seems like their sexual relationships never prosper, as husband and wives have specific function. The Trobriand Islanders are the opposite in the sense that they portray their sexuality before marriage, and then cease to afterwards so they can focus on their fertility and motherhood. I guess my approach regarding sexual orientation is to be as physically appealing as possible while seeking someone with particular traits and interests for a long-lasting, healthy, fulfilling relationship. It's not your typical male sexual outlook, but I am not a fan of systems involving multiple partners over short periods of time. So in a way, I use the Trobriand technique to be appealing before I find a long-term partner, but I also derive some from the Chinese method of celibacy until my long-term partner is found, just not to the extent of marriage. Like I said earlier, practicing restriction shows control, gives focus, and it also allows one to wait for the right partner.